Last week was a blog I wanted to write. I often get ideas in church, at a coffee shop, listening to music, driving, and pretty much anywhere. I jot them down. I liked the blog. I love the hymn and I appreciate the comments. The truth is, it was a filler blog.
You see I struggle as a new blogger with balance. How much of me do I put out for the world to see? How much of my family do I put out there? I don’t even post pictures of my kids on Facebook without their permission. I respect their privacy.
Since summer started, we have been battling a health issue with one of my kids. It’s treatable, fixable and we are grateful for the team walking us through this. My guess is that my friends who follow my blog and knew of our situation, were surprised I didn’t blog about it. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know the right balance. I wasn’t sure I wanted the big world-wide web to know all my stuff. I honestly am an open book if it’s just about me, but this involves my daughter. So what is the right balance between openness in my blog and protecting the privacy of my family and friends?
I have no idea.
So we learn together. This week you get a piece of our family struggle. Not the whole process but a piece. Because, I’m still processing it and I want to protect privacy. The piece I can share comfortably is that this is hard. To watch my child be sick and fatigued when we should be swimming or at the beach, is hard. I know we will get beach time later but it’s disappointing to delay. As her energy returns, we will start to venture out. I have had days where I have all the energy to play board games, do puzzles and encourage indoor fun. Other days, I just wanna veg in front of Netflix. Some days I am optimistic. Other days I’m frustrated and discouraged. Both times, I am turning to God. I have learned in this process of an interrupted summer that I need Him daily. Remember my blog on discipleship? It was foreshadowing. I understand more clearly the process of daily picking up my cross and following Him. If I don’t, I crumble and face fatigue. With Him, I have hope and energy.
Friends, as we share life with one another – via blog or in person – find balance. Share a bit of yourself more and more with those you know. When you see it’s safe, share more. If it’s not safe, hold a bit back. Balance. It isn’t always black and white. Not all or nothing. Balance isn’t even 2 for you and 2 for me. It may be 4 for you and 2 for me. It depends on who we are and our relationship. Today I trust you, my friends and readers a bit more. I am excited to see where my journey leads with you. When I tip the scale too far, let me know. If I sense it’s out of balance, my blogs with reflect that. And once in a while, you will get a filler blog – an interesting moment of my life that touched my heart but isn’t what I’m dealing with today. I hope you are OK with that. It feels like balance to me.