I am recovering from outpatient surgery. It was minor surgery however they needed to put me under completely. The idea of that freaked me out. What if I didn’t wake up? What if I get totally sick from the medication? What if…? What if…?
I am a fearful person by nature, or nurture, or both. I constantly need to seek God to step out into new things. Trying a new food, learning a new skill, or the big stuff most people fear. When I found out on a Tuesday I was having surgery on the upcoming Friday, I freaked. I had 3 days to prepare.
Day 1: I got the call about the scheduled surgery as I was walking into my Bible Study group. The first friend who asked how I was got a flood of my tears. I was in shock and scared. I cried and prayed with friends all morning. Guess what? I was in the best place to have a mini-meltdown. I needed my sisters in Christ. They prayed. They promised to pray on Friday. They hugged me. They held my hand. They encouraged me. They didn’t judge me or tell me to get over it.
Day 2: I kept myself busy so I didn’t think too much. I made sure I had a time to sit in God’s presence after reading from the Bible. I found peace and His love. I went to my workout to work off the anxiety in my system. I did mommy duty the rest of the day.
Day 3: A morning of prayer, yoga, time with a dear friend and being outside at the arboretum left me in a state of peace. Afternoon soccer, Open House and nighttime routine filled the rest of the day.
Surgery Day: I awoke peaceful. The key here is that I slept. I was grateful for that. I didn’t fret all night. Again, God’s peace was surrounding me. I would feel a moment of fear rise up then I’d pray and it would dissipate. I remembered the phrase I heard at a conference – Courage is fear bathed in prayer. I can have the fear but not let it stop me. I truly stayed calm with momentary fear bursts that were squelched with more prayer (Lord calm me down, Lord be near me, Lord I know you will uphold me with your righteous right hand).
The moment I was wheeled into the OR, I began to cry. That room is so scary: Huge lights above, everything is sterile, it’s big and sparse and all the nurses are rushing around. The staff was fabulous. I was just scared. The last thing I heard before I went out was “let’s sedate her.” I awoke in another room with an oxygen mask on my face. I wasn’t nauseous. I began to praise God. He granted me another day to love Him, love my family, and grow as a person.
God is the reason I got through this ordeal without major anxiety and even more tears. Courage is fear bathed in prayer. I am courageous because I lean on God, His Word and His people in time of fear. The prayers of myself and my friends made all the difference. As we celebrate Easter this weekend, I hope you will consider the power at your fingertips because Jesus chose to die and conquer death then rise again to prepare a place for us in Heaven and to connect with us daily because He loves us. Life isn’t easy but it’s less scary when we have a relationship with Jesus. I’m grateful for Him and for you who read my blog. You are loved by Him and by me.